Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels

When I introduced a mental model of motivation, I wrote about three sources of motivation, intrinsic, extrinsic and altruistic motivation. This time I will get introduce four different tendencies concerning on the intrinsic and extrinsic sources of motivation. Gretchen Rubin has introduced four different personalities that react differently for two different sources of motivation:

  • Upholders meet outer and inner expectations
  • Questioners resist outer expectations and meet inner expectations
  • Obligers meet outer expectations and resist inner expectations
  • Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations

According to Rubin, these personalities don´t change during lifetime, unless something really devastating happens. For example, a loss of a loved one, or a near-death experience. It doesn´t mean that all the behavior is the same as the personality describes. Everyone has a basic personality and similarities with two other ones. For example, Upholders have similarities with Questioners and Obligers. Usually, similarities are stronger with one personality. For example, Upholders have more similarities with either Questioners or Obligers. In this text, I provide a short description of these four personalities

Upholders

Upholders can be described as law abiding citizens and self-targeting missiles. They want to meet both the outer and inner expectations alike. They tend to love rules, to-do lists, minute-by-minute schedules, repetitive tasks, and deadlines. When they make a decision, they will follow through. All the expectations make them feel free and motivated. They may feel hurt or impatient when others reject expectations, cannot determine rules for themselves or question their expectations. They do not adapt well with sudden changes. They need clarity to meet their inner expectations. Upholders are eager to understand and meet expectations thorough, reliable, can seem humorless, and are demanding.

Dealing with Upholders is many ways easy. They do what they say, do it on time, they don´t need any extra requests to do something, and they are self-motivated. They get energized when they get things done. They manage their own businesses and customer relations well. They tend to thrive with situations that have clear rules, routines, changes are small and slow, and take initiatives without supervision. They have problems with delegation, because they think others are not dependable enough.

Questioners

Questioners can be described as exhaustive researchers and justification-seekers. They focus on inner expectations. They question everything They need to find reasons why something is done. If they are good enough, outer expectations transform to inner expectations. They want to be logical and efficient. They prefer gathering their own facts and make their own decisions based on them. They can suffer from analysis-paralysis. They are paradoxical, because they don´t like to answer questions from others about their judgments. They think it is not necessary to explain anything they have thought through, because they have done it with care. They are interested in creating more efficient systems, inner-directed, impatient with others´ complacency, and have a crackpot potential.

Dealing with a questioner requires patience for their endless questions. They can add value by finding reasons for doing or not doing something that others find justified without thinking. You may think they are difficult with all their questions. You have to remember that they do it because they want efficient actions and smart decisions. You have to put them deadlines and restrictions for their research. Do not put them on a situation where there is a possibility of doing endless research when it isn´t needed. Put them on environment that rewards and encourages research. And don´t let them work with people who have low tolerance for questions.

Obligers

Obligers can be described as people-pleasers. They focus on outer expectations. Real issue is that they need external accountability. They cannot meet their inner expectations without external accountability. They work well in an environment with external accountability. If the environment changes in a way that external accountability disappears, they become clueless and paralyzed. When they can match their own inner expectations with their outer expectations, they get the life they want. They are great leaders, family and community members, and friends. They have a tendency for overworking and burnout and they have trouble saying no.

You can team up them with a coach, accountability partner, personal organizer and any other professional. Face-to-face interactions work best with them. Accountability works better when they get positive feedback. Sometimes negative feedback, taking them for granted, too ambitious demands for them, nagging, or exploiting them can initiate a rebellion. This can happen fast and without warning. They excel at meeting other people´s deadlines and like monitoring and supervision from others when they feel they are treated fairly.

Rebels

There is no better word to describe a Rebel. They focus on resisting inner and outer expectations alike. They care about freedom and self-expression. They resist all types of control, even self-control. The harder you push them, the harder the resistance. Ability to choose is the most important thing. They enjoy meeting challenges in their own way. They can do almost anything they want to if the choice is theirs. When they are on a mission, they have no need for checklists, routines or supervision. But they don´t work well with requests. Even reasonable requests can have a negative reaction. Rebels are independent-minded, can think outside the box, spontaneous, sometimes inconsiderate, and struggle with routines.

When you deal with a Rebel, remember that you get their best response by using information-consequences-choice sequence. You have to give them all the information they need, tell them the consequences of actions, and allow their decision without lecturing. Do not let them out of trouble, when they make a wrong decision. If they don´t suffer the consequences, you give them no reason to act. Rebels are quite easily manipulated by using their contrarian nature against them. They also respond better when you use words like choice, freedom, and self-expression, instead of using words like responsibility, necessity, or rules.

I am not sure how scientific this division of four personality types Rubin has created, but it makes sense to me. I am a questioner with a tendency to rebel against rules. At least, that is what I think of myself.

Until next week,

-TT

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